Let me just come right out and say that I’m a snob. When it comes to food, when it comes to drink, I prefer to enjoy the experience. Experience matters. Quality matters. That’s just the way it is.

So when I complain about what is being sold as scones here in the U.S., you understand. Yes, I’m bothered by the fact that they are nothing like their named counterparts in their native land, but mostly I am disturbed– deeply, deeply disturbed — by the simple fact that they are awful. Chalky, pasty, blueberry-cinnamon-encrusted crap.

There are of course exceptions. When I worked at the Roastery, we had a mother-daughter team baking us scones that were to die for. Traditional family recipe, everything you could hope for. That, my friends, that was a scone.

Brief pause while I pull myself back together. Whew.

Waiting in line at a coffee shop today, where they sell what can at best be generously described as a scone-like thing, the person behind me said the following:

I don’t really like scones in other coffee shops. They’re too dry. But these are better, they’re like a muffin but low-fat.

Sigh.

I don’t know where she got this idea. In whatever incarnation you might find them, scones are not low-fat. If they are labeled low-fat, they are unpalatable imposters.

But like I said. I’m a snob.