When you’re at that point in your son’s bedtime routine where you sit quietly and listen to a CD with him for a while, and he’s finally relaxed enough that you don’t feel too guilty about listening to a little something on your iPod instead of Winnie-the-Pooh lullabies for what has got to be the hundredth time — because it’s not like you’re ignoring him or failing to treasure these precious moments together, you’re giving him a chance to sleep on his own — do not, do not listen to an outtakes episode of the Drunk and Retired podcast. You will find that you cannot help but laugh out loud, disturbing your son’s blissfully restful state.

Not that I would ever do that.